To close this year, I thought of a fitting companion from my published works...
Well, here it is - a pamphlet written soon after the obvious demise of my former band LEBENSREFORM, by then even called [ lei ]. That name was kinda tongue in cheek, as one might think. LEBENSREFORM used to be a Straight Edge-band from the start, and very early on had some lyrical content concerning Straight Edge. We later skipped that concept anyway (at least being outspoken about it - we just wanted to BE), but never would have thought about getting cynical or anything. Straight Edge was still something to live by, in some personal way.
You might have guessed it - that way fail for some of us, and maybe to this day to all but one involved. But I guess I can still speak for the others: we stood behind it 100%, and it was a very very VERY important part of ours and the bands life. With [ lei ], the name itself might indicate something of a "vague" justification, but to tell you the truth - the story behind the name is much more simple. LEI was our favorite character in a Computer Game, and he did fulfill two very important credentials: he was hard to track and... he simply began with in L - like LEBENSREFORM, LOXIRAN and LINSAY. Okay, concerning the pamphlet: it's pretty obvious we still thought - or at least I thought - we would go on with the band. There were some cool adventures right behind us, like the tour with CATHARSIS and GEHENNA, we had accomplished a pretty decent moment as a band, being able to choose and bring with us other bands to shows, and were informaly offered some more, like touring the US... But after all, it just did not work out and kinda faded away. The actual edition of my fanzine was written in German, but here is what I could make of it with Google Translate:
what was once LEBENSREFORM and now [lei], is in the moment of doubt ..
it is not dead, it's not bad, but it does not work properly ... musically!
what we have achieved makes us happy, but what is to come is a riddle to us
we build on, but what we need is change. we seek for it now ...
[lei] is paralyzed ... creativly. new paths seem far
we know that we simply can not go on ... may... want?
and it needs more time to consolidate
to consolidate us ... hold on to capture the image on the principle of our interests, ideas,content, feelings, and concepts
what we are producing now are delusions - [lei] does not work ...
[lei] was a working concept
Now we are moving in the empty space
we cannot create without contradicting ourselves,
you always must question yiurself but we will do so by being cynical
[lei] as a "unit" would have continued to work, played shows, make records, etc. ... but more than ever, we are now interested in the famous STEP BEYOND.
about what it is there is no common demeanour, we do not really see one another
we stand for what we were, but we want to wait for what we want to be
just because we do not want to disappoint, especially not ourselves, we cannot just continue
each of us has different intentions with [lei], but we all believe that we don't want to exploit the conditions.
[lei] must not be more dishonest, harmful, parasitic
we would now use our "opportunities", it would be exactly this: taking advantage of!
we don't need that, you do not need that, nor does this environment needs it
[lei] goes on, but we try to take our time ...
